To Trust or Not To Trust?
“Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honestly is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you” so goes the lyrics of a song and it couldn’t be anymore truer in our society than today. And even though we all need it, honesty is fast becoming a forgotten virtue and it certainly is no wonder that trust is becoming a rare commodity. It is no surprise as well that people are becoming more and more careful and cautious. The question “To trust or not trust” is often played in our minds whenever we get to know other people.
Not all people can be trusted. People like robbers and swindlers are individuals we should be defensive with, and it is only natural for us to take a step back and be protective when we sense danger. However, we go through life trusting a lot of people as well. We may not notice it but we trust in a lot more ways with other people. People such as the cashier in a grocery store may seem like a nobody to us yet we trust that person. We trust that he is punching in the right numbers with what we have purchased. We trust the waiter to bring us our food in the restaurant. We trust that our doctors know what they’re talking about. We give our trust to some people yet we withhold it from others.
So what does it take to trust anyway? What does it mean to trust someone? Too many people nowadays are scared of opening up and trusting. Some people signify trusting someone to being vulnerable and in a way, it is true. Trusting means that you lay your confidence, your hope, your faith in someone. Others say that trusting is dangerous and often a risk. But truth be told, life is all about risks. And trusting is part of it. Trusting also means expecting people to disappoint you and fail you. Trusting means setting an expectation that you’re bound to get hurt and be frustrated by the people around you because no one is perfect. We ourselves can also let people down even if we don’t intend to. We are all human beings- frail and imperfect.
Of course, it is so easy to set expectations but when you think of all the past hurts, betrayals, and losses you’ve had, you can so easily shrink back and be fearful of anyone that you develop a relationship with. How does one recover? How do you learn to trust again? Trusting takes time. It grows over time. You can’t simply snap your fingers and let trickles of trust flood over your life. But people are resilient. The heart is capable of changing. You can rebuild trust if you choose to. You can choose to start anew. But you need to forgive that person first and then forgive yourself. Forgiveness signifies that you are willing to move forward and allowing yourself to trust again. Maybe not to that person right away but to yourself and to life itself.
“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone- but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy” – Walter Anderson
To trust or not to trust? That is the question. Well, I only have this to say: Stop living in fear. Get out of that cave and meet life! Do not let your past betrayals or someone’s treachery tarnish your future relationships or ruin your life. It may take time but be patient. Face life with trust and you’ll see how light it feels. Trusting frees you because life simply flows. To trust is to live.
“When I’m trusting and being myself…everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously” – Anonymous